Episode 2, originally published 20-Oct-96

Emptying Empty Plotlines (or, Tying the Naught)

Peter returns to Genoa City, and explains that things just didn't work out with Sasha. He presents Phyllis with a bill for $300,000 for "services rendered". He tells her he now knows what Sasha knew, and he's going to tell Danny if she doesn't make good on the debt. Before Phyllis can go totally ballistic, Joanie enters with Little Danny and Peter sneaks out.

It's another evening at home with pouty Little Nate and his Mother. Suddenly Little Nate turns to his mother and mercifully says "Mommmmmeeeee, I promise not to spit out your food or to complain about daddddeee being gone. Will you pleeeeassssseee stop snivvling!!" They play "Bless The Beasts" as this enormously tired story line is put to rest.

Neil Winters calls Paul Williams to the house. He admits he has only seen his daughter once in the last six months, and wonders if she's safe and well. Paul asks a couple of questions on the off chance he can make himself look like he's being thorough. How old is she? Neil is unusually vague--somewhere between six months and 8 years, he responds. Paul takes it in stride that he could be so unsure. Where does she live? "With me." "Oh, right," says Paul. Paul starts to leave. "You don't want a picture?" Neil asks. "You have a picture? Great." Paul promises to "get right on it".

Phyllis calls Tim and explains to him that she's being blackmailed by an old boyfriend who turned psycho. Tim is suspicious and asks her outright if there really is such a psycho boyfriend, isn't she perhaps responsible for him going crazy? She frowns at him. "Ha, ha. Very funny, Tim. This is serious!" She explains this threatens her entire existence and that Peter must be "disposed of". She blurts out that she thinks Tim should do the deed, and while he stands there flabbergasted, she dangles the video tape of she and Tim having wild sex in front of him. If Tim doesn't play along, she'll mail it to the authorities and have him disbarred "or whatever they do to Psychologists". On the other hand, if he does do this "little favor", she'll marry him and he can have a subscription to lots more of what's on the tape.

Upon his return home, Paul finds evidence that he himself is not living alone and starts to suspect that he might even be married. He tries to remember whether he has recently acted warm to anyone on the show. He checks his calendar. It has a little heart and the word "Marriage" next to it. Then he looks at the next couple of days. All it says is "Olivia" for the next several days. "Olivia? Could I have married Olivia?" There's a rustling at the door, and Paul draws his pistol. Cricket enters and he levels the pistol at her. "Paul, it's me! Your wife!" Paul is very confused now. He's sure he's never behaved in any way that suggests love for Cricket. "It's a trick," he thinks. He pulls the trigger and gets off two shots. The bullets bounce off the SuperBug and Paul is now really confused and collapses. She shrugs and tucks him into the bed.

Dr. Landers calls the family's women aside (Nikki, Victoria, and Sharon). He explains that they no longer need to visit him professionally at the office; any time the women need gyneocological exams, they can just stop by his study and he'll do any necessary poking around right there. Nikki thinks this is a very sweet gesture and suggests that maybe they can work it into a weekly ritual where everyone gets weekly checkups on Sunday mornings and then Miguel fixes waffles for the whole family afterward. All nod in agreement that this makes a lot of sense and sounds like a great plan for helping the family to bond a bit better. Victoria apologizes to Dr. Landers for ever having doubted the wisdom of having him around; she is looking forward to the upcoming wafflefest.

It's morning. Tight shot of Dru and Neil eating cereal for breakfast. A voice from just offstage says "Mommy? Why is my picture on this milk carton?" The camera draws back to show her eating at the table as well. "Oh, there you are, sweetie," says Neil. "We just hadn't seen you for months and I was getting worried." Dru's jaw drops and she says, "Oh my god, I've got a child. And here I was about to start this big modeling career. What WAS I thinking?"

Grace hears gossip in the mail room about the Genoa City Wife Swappers. Seeing her opportunity, she approaches Victoria with a plan to get Ryan hot and bothered, leaving him ready for Victoria to pluck. "You've got brains, Grace. You'll go far." Victoria tells her. Victoria suddenly notices Ryan coming down the hall and whispers to Grace "Make like you're doing a filing project" while she (Victoria) sneaks out the back door. Ryan enters and his targeting radar immediately registers a lock. Grace has scooched down her neckline and goes about poking in low-lying drawers, involving a lot of bending over and many good shots with the Y&R buttcam. Ryan licks his lips a lot and keeps adjusting his tie as he makes light chitchat. Finally, Victoria enters and sends Grace to "deliver something". Victoria closes the door behind her and turns for the kill.

We return to Grace, who is wandering the hall muttering under her breath about how Ryan wasn't really so bad and it was too bad Victoria had come back at so inopportune a time. Lost in thought, she whips around the corner into a storeroom where she runs straight into Nick at full speed, tackling him into a pile of boxes.

Kansas. Cliff dies. Hope speaks to the doctor in private about his organ donation authorizations. The doctor confirms that indeed he has donated his organs and asks if she wants something. Hope nods that she does. His spine. Hers seems to have disappeared sometime in the last year. She is rushed to surgery muttering "Just wait, Victor..."

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 3!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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