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Moral
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Moral
Date: 04 Nov 1997 16:43:33 -0500
From: pitman@anotherwayout.com (Kent M Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#71: "Child Like"
Message-ID: <sfw7maoibcq.fsf@world.std.com>
INSIDE... * Will Neil finally get what's coming to him?
* Will Diane reap what Victor has sewn?
* Will Cassie's first attempt at courtship be judged acceptable?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 71, 04-Nov-97 by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
"Child Like"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill enters Victor's office with some important looking papers, slamming the
door behind her. His tall chair is turned away from the door, but she is not
deterred--she has a prepared speech, and she begins anyway from the moment she
walks in the door. "Victor, I know you've said over and over that you're
opposed to this, but I want you to take a look at--" She stops suddenly, as
she realizes there is an odd sound coming from behind the chair. Quiet now,
she hears it's sniffling. "Victor?" The chair spins around. It's Diane, and
she's crying. "Oh, I'm sorry," Jill says. "I should have known it was too
good to be true to find Victor's door unguarded like that. I think he's been
avoiding me, and when Connie stepped away..." Diane searches the desk for
Kleenex but sees none. Jill reaches into a small purse she is carrying and
pulls out a tissue. Handing it to Diane, she says, "Victor doesn't keep
Kleenex around--it's a sign of weakness." Diane nods, taking the Kleenex and
wiping her eyes. "I should have known," she mutters.
Neil is seating himself on the couch at Olivia's in the middle of the
afternoon. "Did you come by to ask some medical advice?" she asks. "Sort
of," he says. "Actually, no. You see, I was looking over that pamphlet
Malcolm got me about all these medical procedures and--I just can't get into
it, you know?" Olivia looks away from him with a secret smile, then puts back
her feigned look of concern and nods toward him. "I'm sorry, Neil. I told
Malcolm that brochure was a bad idea--" "But it wasn't," he says, stopping
her. "It wasn't?" she asks, confused and slightly apprehensive. "There was
one idea in there--kind of a long shot, ya know, but I thought--well, I just
wondered..." "Yes?" "Sometimes when a couple can't have a baby, on account
of the mother, you know, they say a sister might..." "The in vitro process--"
she starts to say. He shakes her head. "No, not one of those gadgety things.
A natural birth. Just with you, instead of your sister. I mean... it's a lot
to ask. And I probably shouldn't even think of it. But there it was in the
pamphlet. And I figured I shouldn't even bring it up with Dru if I didn't
know for sure that you would be interested."
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jill asks. "Would you mind?" Diane says,
brightening a little. "Of course not," Jill says. "It'd be nice to talk to a
woman about it and..." "And someone who's not an ex-wife of Victor's?" Jill
says with a hint of disdain in her voice. "Exactly," Diane says. "There don't
seem to be many." "A little trail of chewed up breadcrumbs marking the way
home to the Newman Ranch," Jill mutters. Diane looks at her quizzically but
doesn't take the bait; instead, she says, "I just don't know what to do... I
wanted to have a baby, and--" "Victor didn't warm to the idea?" "Actually,
no, he seemed to think it wasn't a terrible idea." "So....?" "Well, he said
it was too late." "Too late?" "He went and had a vasectomy last week." Jill
goes ballistic. "WITHOUT TELLING YOU?" Diane nods meekly. Jill is pacing
the room. "Oh, that is so like Victor. Well, I hope you're not goint to take
this laying down." Diane shrugs. "What else can I do? Victor is my
husband." "For now," Jill says. "No, he promised it was forever." Jill
shakes her head and paces some more. "Boy, he really sold you a bill of
goods, didn't he. Did you believe him?" "Of course I did," Diane says.
"Victor is a man of his word." "His word? You're talking about a man who's
been married five times." "I think it's six," Diane says. "Oh? Well, that
makes it much better," Jill says. Diane isn't looking cheery. Jill suddenly
realizes she needs to be softer. "Look, Diane, I don't mean to sound so harsh
about this--I can imagine it's rough. But do you seriously believe this
marriage is going to be forever?" Diane sobs into the worn tissue that Jill
has given her. Jill starts to offer a replacement, but instead hands her the
whole packet.
"Let me get this straight," Olivia says. "You want to conceive a child with
me and raise it as your own--you and Dru." "Yeah, I guess you're right--it is
kinda crazy," Neil says. "Actually, Neil, that's a very interesting
proposition. Maybe you should ask your wife about it, though." "Well, but, I
didn't want to do it unless you were going to be interested." "Well, I
*would* consider it--for Dru's sake, of course. But my sister might not like
it. So maybe you shouldn't mention it to her that I said so. And then
there's Malcolm...." "Well, he gave me the brochure--you think he's going to
then deny me what might be my only chance?" Olivia chuckles. "It would serve
Malcolm right for ignoring my advice about this," she muses.
Jill says to Diane, "If you want my honest advice, I'd say to get what you can
while you can, because I think your days with him are numbered." "But I love
Victor," Diane says. "That's very sweet," Jill says. "But Victor is like an
overindulged child--he can't commit to a woman. Except Nikki ... and maybe
Hope. I think it's the children." Diane sobs anew. "Look," says Jill, "I
know it's hard, but the handwriting's on the wall... Why on earth you didn't
stay with Jack, I'll never know." Jack enters, having overheard at least this
remark--maybe more. "Why Jill," he says, "I never knew you cared." He looks
to Diane and says, "I see the Black Knight's been spreading his usual
cheer..." Diane looks up at him and forces a smile. "Hi, Jack." "Anything I
can do?" Diane says, "Know someone who can undo a vasectomy?" Jacks mind
flashes quickly to Joshua and then to Kurt. "No," he lies. "Then I guess
there's nothing to do," she says. "Oh, I don't know about that," Jack says.
"When it comes to putting Victor in his place, there's always something to be
done." "Like what?" Jill asks, curious. Jack sees the papers that Jill
brought into the room and starts idly rummaging them. "Hey, this looks pretty
good--I assume the Mustache turned you down." "Actually, he hasn't seen it
yet," Jill says. Then she adds, "But I'm sure he'll turn it down when he
finally does." Diane asks, "So why do you do it?" Jill shakes her head. "I
guess I'm just like you," Jill says. "I enjoy banging my head against the
wall." "Say, I have an idea," Jack says. "What?" Jill asks. Jack looks
around and notices they are in enemy territory. "Not here," he says. "Where
then?" Jill asks. "Your office?" Diane chimes in. Jack looks at his watch.
"How about lunch?" he suggests. "The Private Dining Room?" "Both of us?"
"Better make that three," Victoria says, entering with a twinkle in her eye
that could only have come from this episode following directly after their
encounter in Episode 70. Jack wheels around, "Well, I think I can manage
that," Jack says with a smile.
Later, in the divorce court, we're finally seeing progress on Romalotti vs.
Romalotti. We're not going to drag out the whole proceeding here because you
know how tedious these events can be; we'll view the events in fast forward:
"Your Honor, she was kissing her lawyer." "Objection, Your Honor. She kissed
her lawyer, too." "But Your Honor," says Cricket. "We have reason to believe
she's BOINKING her lawyer." Phyllis looks at Cricket. "Oh, like we don't
have any reason to suppose you're boinking yours?" asks Phyllis snippily.
"You have no proof of that," Cricket replies. "But I do," says Lynne, who
today sits with Paul in the audience behind Phyllis. She stands, holding up a
video tape. The judge looks surprised. "Young woman, you're out of order."
Lynne whispers a summary of what happened in episode 70 to Michael and hands
him the tape. Michael addresses the court, "Uh, Your Honor, new evidence has
come to light which will show that indeed opposing counsel is boinking her
lawyer just as we suspected."
At the Private Dining Room, Jack breaks the silence. "Each of us has a reason
to resent Victor," he says. He looks to each of them. "Jill, he never pays
attention to you and your ideas. Diane, he's already started on his standard
pattern of pushing you out of his life. And Victoria, he's passed over you
and your experience in favor of your younger brother as heir apparent to the
company." All nod slowly. "So I think the time has come to get even." "But
Jack," Victoria says, "You can't take over a privately held company. I know
you and Brad have tried in the past, but it doesn't make sense. As long as
Dad holds the company, his word is final." Jack nods. "That's true. But if
we had another company that wasn't Victor's, we could arrange deals with that
company and siphon funds out of this one into that one... It would be tricky.
But with enough of us working together, it could be done. Even the normal
internal auditors are usually looking for individual points of failure--they
have a much harder time recognizing a complex conspiracy. We could cover each
others' tracks." Diane chimes in, "But what about me?" "You have unique
access to Victor--we couldn't do it without you, Sugar." Victoria says, "But
what about my brother? He's got his nose in things all over the company."
Jack nods. "Yeah, your father has put him in my care--I'll have to think of
something to get him distracted." Jill says, "I'll take care of Nicholas."
"You will?" Jack says, raising his eyebrows. "Piece of cake," Jill says.
"Interesting metaphor," Victoria observes with a knowing smile.
Oops. We've obviously caught Dru and Neil mid-discussion. "Whoa there," Dru
says. "Back right up. You are suggesting that you and I have another child,
and the way we do it is that you and my sister tie that little DNA knot all by
yourselves?" "Well, baby, if your sister loves you, surely she'd--I mean, if
your sister couldn't have a baby, wouldn't you be a mother to a child for
her?" "It's not that simple, Neil. For one thing, I can't just pop out a
baby any time I find myself needin' a party gift for a friend." "But she's
your sister." "And that's close enough," says Dru. "I don't need her to also
be playin' wifey to my husband." "It wouldn't be like that," Neil says.
"We'd both be doing it out of love for you," he pleads. Dru shakes her head,
"I'm just not seein' it, Neil." Neil pulls out the birth control pills he
found earlier. "Speaking of seein' things," he says, "what are these?" She
blushes. "Where'd you find that?" "Never mind where I found it--I'm starting
to ask myself if you're really committed to our marriage. Now I'm sure
there's a good explanation," he says. She has none. "All right," she says
finally. "All right, let's hear it then," he says. "No, all right--you can
do it with my sister," she says wearily, not wanting to even get into an
explanation of the pills. "But no leather, no whips, none o' that." He nods.
"Agreed."
A small female voice says "Your Honor, I'd like to be heard." Cassie pushes
her way through the swinging doors into view of the Judge, who still has to
stand up a little to see her. The judge says, "I'm afraid you have no
standing to address the court." "I am standing, Your Honor. This is as tall
as I am," Cassie replies apologetically. "No," says the lawyer, "I mean, you
can't be a lawyer. You're not old enough." "Oh," says Cassie, "I understand
that. But Michael isn't a lawyer either, and I see we've made an exception
for him. Your Honor, I'd like to petition the court to accept me as counsel
for the interests of Little Daniel Romalotti." "On what grounds?" "Well, I'm
the right height to be representing him, for one thing," Cassie explains with
a smile. "And I care about what happens to him, for another. And I'm not
sleeping with ANY of my clients... except Cindy." "Cindy?" "Well, she's a
doll, really. But she practices with me. Mrs. Collins is helping me learn
about how to be a lawyer. And we thought that since no one was looking out
for Daniel's interests in this trial, this would be a good chance for me to
get a battlefield promotion."
Olivia is with Neil in Neil's bed. Apparently, the deed is done. We breathe
a quick sigh of relief that some tobacco company hasn't arranged for them to
be smoking. Olivia wears very modest, undistinguished nightwear. He sports a
tank-top t-shirt we can see and boxers we cannot. "I suppose that wasn't as
... active ... as you're used to," Olivia says. Neil says, "Actually, I
really liked it. I get tired of the whips and stuff--I just do that because
Dru likes it. She says it's really the `in thing', ya know." "Oh, I know.
Malcolm's been bugging me and bugging me to go over to Fenmore's while that
sale is going on and get one of those packaged outfits with the leather and
the whips, but I--" He cuts her off. "You know, it all started when women
started wanting to be on top... Everything's been all mixed up since."
Olivia says, "Oh, I was so afraid you thought it was old-fashioned of me that
I didn't want to--" "No, no, no," Neil says, "that was really great."
Neil looks a little uncertain about how he's been gushing. "I guess I should
be careful how I talk about this. I don't think Dru wanted me to enjoy it
quite this much." "It's ok, Neil. You're with me right now. I'm glad you
enjoyed it. I was afraid you'd think I was boring." Neil shakes his head.
"See, that's the thing, Olivia. If the woman would just leave things to her
man more often, she wouldn't have to worry about that. It's the man's job to
make it the wonderful experience that it is. You weren't bored, right?" She
shakes her head. "Never." Then she stops and laughs. "Well, maybe according
to Webster's definition number 1, but not its definition number 7." He
chuckles. "Hey, that's very funny, Olivia. It's so nice to be with someone
well-educated for once, too." "Careful, Neil," she says. "If you sing my
praises too much we might drift into definition number 7." They both chuckle.
Dru is pacing Malcolm's living room pacing. "I can't believe you got us into
this, Malcolm," she says. She rummages in a bag she's got with her and pulls
out a whip. She starts to hit the whip repeatedly on the couch. "Oooh,"
Malcolm says, "you are SEXY when you get mad." She stops and bats her
eyelashes at him, overtly teasing him. "You think so?" "Are you kidding?" he
asks. He starts to elaborate: "I've tried to get Olivia to buy one o' them
leather 'n' whip getups from Fenmore's--" Dru pulls out such an outfit and
says, "This thing?" He nods. "That's the one. But she refuses. She just
wants to lay there like as if the man's supposed to do the whole thing....
Say, why'd you bring that outfit, anyway?" Dru says with her best attempt at
an innocent voice, "I just thought... well, if Neil and Olivia take too
long... well, you and I might need a way to amuse our little old selves,
that's all." Malcolm isn't for waiting. "Well, they've been three minutes
already. That's too long for my taste. I vote for moving ahead with the
entertainment segment." She turns the whip on him and cackles, "You vote?
Malcolm, this whip ain't no icon o' democracy. Now you get your butt into
that other room there and sister Dru will join you in a minute." "Whoo!" he
yelps, and then scampers out.
Jill has rented a suite at the Genoa City Hotel. Nick, apparently oblivious
to Jill's recent thing with Keith, sits on the couch in her living room as she
fixes him a drink. "It's really nice of you to have me by," Nick says. Jill
smiles and hands him the drink. He smells it and says, "Whoa, lotta alcohol
there!" "Can't handle it, Nick? Shoulda I order up a Shirley Temple from
room service?" "A Shirley Temple?" he asks, confused. "A soft drink, Nick,"
Jill says with a sigh. "Oh. Strange they'd name a soft drink after a
politician," he mutters. Jill stares for a moment in disbelief, then
continues. "Anyway, yes, I find I sometimes have to get away from the office
to clear my head." "Oh, I know what you mean," says Nick. "Sometimes the
walls really feel like they're closing in around you. I can see why that
Scott Adams guy is always drawing offices like they were little teeny
cubes--he's such a kidder. But sometimes it really feels that way." Jill is
starting to realize this is going to be harder than you thought. She pours
herself a stiff shot of bourbon and swallows it. Then she says, "Nick, did
you know your father and I once had an affair?" Nick looks surprised. "You
and Dad? Really? But, hey, that's cool." He thinks for a moment and says,
"Hey, you're not building up to telling me you're secretly my mom or anything
are you?" "Uh, no, Nick. It doesn't work that way. You can only secretly be
a father." Nick thinks for a moment and then nods. "Oh, right." He blushes.
"I guess I shoulda known that," he says.
The judge looks the little girl over. "Mrs. Collins?" she asks. "Here, Your
Honor," Doris says, raising her hand from the wheelchair parking position in
the back of the room. "Of Collins and Sons?" "The same, Your Honor." "I've
heard you do excellent work. Well, if you vouch for the young lady here, I
don't see how Daniel can be any worse off than she is now. The court
recognizes her to speak." "Thank you," Cassie says and hands a handful of
papers to the bailiff, who is tall enough to reach them up to the judge. "My
client has asked me to enter this petition on his own behalf to be separated
from all this nonsense and released in the custody of Joani, the babysitter.
In all practical ways, she's Little Daniel's mother anyway. And if you could
just award her some money for living expenses out of the money these two were
going to fight over..." "Eminently sensible," the Judge says, "It's apparent
why Collins and Sons has such a no-nonsense reputation." The Judge bangs a
gavel on the table. "The petition of the youth is granted. Daniel Romalotti
senior is ordered to make child care payments in the amount that was requested
by Mrs. Romalotti. The two parents are asked to take their squabbling from
this court. Case closed."
"Do you find me attractive, Nicholas?" Jill inquires. "Sure," says Nick. "Do
you find yourself wanting to act on it?" "Act? You mean like on stage?" Jill
blows up. "No, of course I don't mean like on stage. Nick, I'm trying to
seduce you. Do you understand that concept at all, or do I have to put on a
blonde wig and wheel your son's crib in next to my bed to get your
attention?!" Nick looks surprised. "You know about that?" Jill sighs.
"Yes, Nicholas. I know about that. That's why I brought it up." "It was one
of the dumbest things I've ever done," he says. Jill is really exasperated
and ready to give up. "No, Nicholas, I wouldn't say that. Taking things in
context of your overall way of catching on, I'd say it wasn't that dumb at
all." Nick beams erroneously. "Gee, Jill, I appreciate the confidence you
have in me. It's nice to know everyone doesn't think I'm a dummy." "Trust
me, Nick. There's a huge gap in intelligence between you and any dummy," Jill
says. Then she says, "Uh, could you hold on a minute..." She goes out and in
a moment comes back in the popular Fenmore's leather costume with whip in
hand. "All right," she says with a determined look, "Just shut up and listen
'cuz I'm in control now." She cracks the whip. Nick looks up, "Oh, wow, you
saw that fly buzzing around, too? You didn't have to go to all that trouble,"
he says. He stands up and whaps a fly between his hands. "There," he says,
opening his hand and offering up his trophy. "We get flies like this all the
time out at the ranch. You just have to know how to treat them." He looks at
his watch. "Anyway, hey, look at the time--it was really nice to have this
little business meeting with you, Jill. I hope we can do it again soon."
Olivia and Neil get up and start to get dressed again. "Say, what's this?"
Olivia says, seeing the birth control pills on the bedside table. He frowns.
"Oh, I found those. Dru was using them, I think." "Did you ask her why?" "I
did. But she wiggled out of explaining them when she agreed to let me try for
a baby with you." Olivia gets a sly smile of enjoyment out of this. They are
mostly dressed by now. Olivia looks to Neil but says nothing. He says what
she is thinking. "Do you think we'll have to do this again?" he asks. "I
hope--" she starts to say but stops before saying "not". We are left
wondering. He smiles. "Well, it didn't hurt a bit, doc," he says with a
wink. She smiles and says, "If fate dictates, you know I'll be there for you,
Neil."
A few minutes later, Jill is on the phone to Victoria. "How'd it go? Was my
brother putty in your hands? Did the story Cole told me help?" Jill sighs.
"I'm afraid your brother is going to take a bit more work," she explains.
"But one thing's for sure..." "What's that?" Victoria says. "You have SERIOUS
reason to be concerned if Victor thinks Nick is the brightest of the two of
you and should be inheriting Newman Enterprises ahead of you."
Dru is with Neil later. He walks into the bathroom adjoining their bedroom
and she calls to him, "So how'd it go with my sistah?" He calls back to her,
"Pretty much like you'd expect." Dru opens her closet and, seeing that Neil
isn't looking, takes the leather outfit and whip out of the bag and puts it
back in its place in the closet. "You two didn't use any toys, did you?" she
says. "No, baby," he says. "It wasn't like that." Dru nods. "That's good,"
she says. Dru finds the birth control pills and looks for today's pill. It
seems to be missing. "That's funny," she says to herself. "I don't remember
taking one today... oh well." She shrugs. Just then, she hears Neil coming
and pushes the pills into her bedside drawer before he notices.
Malcolm is with Olivia again. He is unusually perky--she is unusually sedate.
"You seem pretty quiet, Olivia," he says. "I'm just tired--it was an
exhausting day." "My brother really wore you out, huh?" he says, needling
her. "You're sure you're ok with it?" Olivia asks. "Oh, I'm cool," Malcolm
says. "What did you do while I--" "Oh, I went to sister Dru's for some
lunch." "And she fed you?" He laughs. "Yeah, she whipped up something."
She still looks more quiet than he expects. "Hey, maybe you should prescribe
yourself some vitamins or something, Olivia..." "Oh, thanks for reminding me,
Malcolm!" she says. She rummages her purse and finds a small container
containing a single small white pill. It looks to us like Dru's missing birth
control pill. Hey, if she takes this, she won't get pregnant! And she and
Neil may have to repeat their `ordeal'. Doesn't she know that? But Malcolm
is clueless and so she proceeds to pop the pill. "I'll be taking a special
daily vitamin program for a while," she explains. He nods. "Well, you
better--just in case you end up being a surrogate mommy for your sister."
"Exactly," says Olivia. "Proper family planning is SO important..."
"Hi, honey," Sharon says happily. "Did you have a nice dinner with Jill?"
she adds. "It was mostly shop talk," Nick says. "And we didn't really eat.
So I'm starved. Any chance you could fix me something?" "Ohhh," says Sharon,
exposing pent up frustration. "What's that little noise about?" he asks.
There is the sound of a toilet flushing and Miguel walks by toward a storeroom
behind the kitchen. "Miguel. Thank goodness! There you are!! The food
replicator is broken." "Sorry, Sharon," Miguel says. "I had to go to the
bathroom." "Well, that's fine, but that machine sure is fussy. It seems like
it never works unless you're around. Please take a look at it as soon as you
can." "Right away," Miguel says, hurrying out of sight. Nick looks puzzled.
"So what's the matter with it?" Nick asks. "Well, nothing happens when
I--well, here, I'll show you." She stands in front of the machine and says,
"Tea, earl gray, hot." Moments later, a door opens and hot tea sits waiting
inside. "Hmmm. I guess it fixed itself," she says. "Or maybe Miguel fixed
it," Nick says. "Well, whatever. I don't care. Just as long as it's working
for dinner." "Right," Nick says. "So what do you want me to make you?"
Sharon asks. "How about spare ribs? That's usually what I have on Tuesday
nights. And I am SO hungry I feel like I can smell them already." "Spare
ribs it is," Sharon says with a smile. Then she announces to the machine,
"Spare ribs, please. Like Nick likes them." A moment later, the door opens
and a plate of spare ribs are waiting. "Cool," Nick says taking them. "You
are SUCH a good cook, Sharon. I don't know what I'd do without you..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman. All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner. The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...
Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
can be found at: http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html
Don't forget to try the "character index" and "ratings index"!