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Original posting of Episode 21:

Date: 10 Feb 97 03:34:13 GMT
From: kmp@harlequin.com (Kent Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: Another Way Out, episode 21: "Take, Take, Take"
Message-ID: <KMP.97Feb10033413@romulus.harlequin.com>

"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner.  The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...

   Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
    as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
    can be found at:  http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html

INSIDE...  * Miguel Fixes Take-Out Lunches
         * Nick and Sharon Take Off
       * A Take-Over Attempt is Discovered

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 21, 10-Feb-97  by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nick stands with Sharon looking in the door of their house.  Sharon cradles
their recently born son in her arms.  Behind them, outside, a large
four-door car awaits; its trunk is open and we can see it is packed with
supplies for their trip.  Miguel enters and says, "Thank goodness, I'm in
time.  I brought going away presents for each of you."  He hands them each a
sack lunch.  Nick peeks inside and smiles.  "Thanks, Miguel.  You're the
best."  Sharon kisses Miguel on the cheek tearily.  "Thanks, Miguel."
Miguel asks, "Where is it you'll be going?"  "The farthest we can get from
here," Nick explains.  "Ah," says Miguel, as if he understands the answer.
Nick says, "Well, s'long Miguel.  Say 'bye' to Mom for me, ok?  I don't
think I can take another one of her teary scenes over this."  Miguel nods,
"I understand completely, Nicholas.  Vaya con Dios."  The two enter the car
and drive off.

Later, inside the comfortable interior of one of the Newman aircraft, Sharon
and Nick munch on the sack lunches Miguel has provided them.  "I sure hope
your dad doesn't mind your borrowing this shuttle," Sharon says.  "Don't
worry, Sharon.  I'm sure Dad just doesn't care what happens to us.  And this
is the perfect way to make our escape--" Suddenly a voice comes over the
speaker, "Approaching escape velocity.  Please check that your seat belts
are fastened."  "See?" Nick says.  Sharon looks suddenly alarmed.  "Escape
velocity?  Nick, that means we'll be leaving the Earth's gravitational
pull."  Nick winks at her.  "Well, I did say we'd be going as far as
possible from Dad, and this seemed just about perfect."  The two chuckle
momentarily and then are rendered unconscious by a sudden acceleration.

We pick up again as Nick and Sharon come bounding into their new home on the
lunar surface wearing space suits.  Their faces are obscured, but Sharon is
obviously the one who holds a tiny spacesuited child cradled in her arms.
They remove their helmets and begin to explore their new space.  "Yeah, I
think this will be far enough away," Nick says.  "And here on the lunar
surface, there are no stores or restaurants so the fact that I quit my job
won't matter--there's nothing to spend money on anyway," he says smugly.
The doorbell rings.  Nick starts to yell "I'll get it, Mig--" but stops
himself.  "It's going to take some getting used to the idea that he's not
still around," Nick admits.  As he walks to the airlock, he asks Sharon, "I
wasn't expecting a welcoming party--were you?"

The door slides open and in walk a number of little green men with bubbled
helmets.  One of them levels a blaster at Nick and nudges him toward the
door.  He reaches for his space helmet, but a voice says in perfect English,
"You won't need that."  Nick, Sharon, and the baby (whose name has never
been spoken, but which we may be sure is Little Nicholas) are ushered into a
small vehicle that takes them quickly to a space dome.  As they emerge from
the dome, they see cylindrical tanks containing preserved bodies of various
missing cast members from Y&R.  Nick whispers to Sharon, "That was Carl
Williams, the former Chief of Police for Genoa City."  A moment later, they
pass another.  "They kidnapped him?" Sharon says, worried. "Oh, Nicholas--
uh, big Nicholas I mean--is that what's going to happen to us?"  Nick shakes
his head, "I don't think so Sharon.  I suspect he's one of them."

"Just so, young Newman--uh, big young Newman," the alien says.  Then, as a
frustrated afterthought, the alien adds, "Will someone PLEASE take the child
from this room so that our attempts at pithy dialog will not be fraught with
ambiguity of reference?  How you earthlings tolerate such idiotic naming
conventions, I don't know."  As the child is ripped from Sharon's arms and
ushered away, Sharon mutters "Easy come, easy go..."  The alien who was
speaking to the now-conveniently-only Nicholas turns back to him and
continues, "So, I see you understand our plot to control the world," he
says.  "Yes," says Nick, "They taught us this technique in business class:
diversification.  You're planting various dummies on earth, each with
special skills and duties, each ready to help you control the world."

"Correct!" says the alien, surprised that Nick could figure it out.  "The
Carl Williams model was too primitive--a direct attempt to control outcomes
by use of police force--very clumsy.  The Mary Williams model is really much
more effective in the control department."  "And the Paul Williams model?
He doesn't seem very controlling.  Is he an earthling?" Nick asks.  "No,
he's a special purpose item.  The one you call `The Bug' (a creature after
our own hearts, but alas, with a different agenda than we can bear) risked
defeating our control mechanism.  The Paul Williams model is equipped with
special DNA which will combine with The Bug's to neutralize her offspring.
We may not be able to control this generation, but we can stop her meddling
from spreading."

"So why have we been brought here?" Nick says, cutting to the chase.  "Are
we the next threat to you?  Or are my controlling parents both agents of
yours and are you about to tell me I'm an alien just like you?"  The alien
laughs.  "Your parents are enormously controlling, I'll grant you that.  But
in your mother's case we've dealt with that surgically.  Have you noticed
that ever since the surgery when your mother was rendered able to walk
again, she has shown a complete lack of desire to leave her living room?"
"Come to think of it, I have," Nick says.  Sharon asks "You did that?"  The
alien nods proudly.  "And my father?"  Nick asks.  "Well, we sent an
assassin to deal with him, but she blew it."  Nick asks, "MariJo Mason?" The
alien nods.  "Ha! I knew it," says Nick.  "She was such a space case."

"And let me guess," Nick says, "Antonio and Neil Winters...?"  "Also our
agents.  How could you tell?" the alien asks curiously.  Nick replies,
"Easy.  They have such outdated attitudes and speech patterns.  I've got
it--you come from 40 light years away, right?"  The alien nods, his mouth
wide with surprise.  "So your sensors are getting data from Earth that's 40
years behind the times... They did a whole episode on this common error made
by aliens studying us in the first Star Trek TV series ... `Square of
Gothos,' I think the episode was called."  The alien looks confused.  "TV?
Star Trek?"  Nick laughs some more.  "Oh, right.  You haven't seen TV and
Star Trek yet.  Hey, no wonder people in Genoa City never watch TV--your
bots are all over and they don't come programmed to know about TV so they
never watch it.  It's all falling into place..."

Nick abruptly changes the subject. "So hey, if you're worried about Dad and
Mom being so controlling, how come you're not worried about me and my
sister?"  "Aha, so you come finally to this.  You and your sister were
genetically altered at our laboratories in Sweden.  We added the DNA of a
Neanderthal--you perhaps noticed the telltale monobrow appearance and the
rapid aging that accompanies primitive man's short lifespan.  We had hoped
that this lowering of your intelligence would eliminate your ability to
compete intelligently--it did, but it raised your desire to compete
primitively--you with your strength and Victoria with her sexuality.  You
will be modified to conform, and will be returned to earth.  Your sister
will be a more complex operation.  Her brain is considerably more chaotic,
and programming it will not be easy.  It may require several months.  Now,
if you will lay down on this table we can get started..."

"Wait!" says Nick, "I've got a business proposition for you.  Rather than
reprogram me, why not let me join with you -- I could stay as I am and offer
you my considerable business savvy."  The alien bops him over the head with
a hammer and he falls unconscious.  "Stupid human," he says, "you've had
only a semester of college and your considerable business savvy is unlikely
to get you a manager's job at our McDonald's operation."  He shakes his head
sadly, then turns to Sharon.  "Sit over there, human female."  "Am I next?"
Sharon asks, terrified.  The alien replies, "Anyone who would believe her
man when he foolishly promises her the Moon doesn't need reprogramming.
You're already just the sort of mindless drone we want all humans to be.
Just sit there and be quiet.  If it will make you feel more comfortable, we
can obtain a basketball for you to rub while you wait.  But we'll be only a
moment."