Episode 80, originally published 10-Jan-98

For Beater or Worse

It's early evening. Peter is on the phone to Phyllis. "Phyllis? It's me, Peter." "Peter! How nice to hear from you." "I hope you think so once I tell you--" "Tell me what?" Phyllis snaps, switching instantly out of pleasantry mode. "Well, do you remember that manuscript you asked about? ... of Sasha's?" "Manuscript?" Phyllis asks. Michael is standing behind her and mutters, "Manuscript?" He glares at her. "You have it?" Phyllis asks. "I do," says Peter. "Well, hold onto it. Don't let it out of your sight. I'll be right there," she says. "You're coming to New York?" Peter asks. "Of course I'm coming to New York, Peter. I have to see that manuscript burn before I can rest. Now stay put and I'll be there before you can say `whiny old cricket'." Peter stares at the phone confused, but Phyllis has hung up.

Sylvia is furious with Peter. "You called your ex-girlfriend? Peter, I can't believe it. It's like I don't matter to you at all." "Huh? What does this have to do with you?" he responds with a look of genuine confusion. She makes a huffing sound and mutters "Men!" as she walks out of the room. Then, as the camera follows her into the bedroom, we see her say, "But two can play at this game." She picks up the phone and dials.

In Genoa City, Cricket puts down the phone. (We've been mercifully spared a rehash of what we already know. A violation of Y&R protocol, I know, but there's a lot of ground to cover here and I can't copy every aspect of Y&R style and still hope to finish this AWO episode in finite time. Sorry.) Danny just happens to be passing through on his every-twenty-minutes check of Cricket's state. "Who was that?" he asks. "That was Hope," Cricket says. "Hope? I thought she went back to Kansas." "No, not that Hope. Our Hope. A gift from God. The manuscript has been found." "The manuscript! Where is it?" "That's the hitch. It's in New York, and Phyllis is on her way to the airport ahead of us." Danny reaches for the phone muttering, "Well, I'll fix that." He dials. "Hello? Trans Global Airlines? I believe you have a reservation for a Mrs. Phyllis Romalotti--you did? just now? And a Mr. Michael Baldwin? Look, I need you to do me a favor. I work at Acme Industries and they're our representatives on their way to an urgent meeting. Only it turns out we need them for something even more urgent here at the home office. I wonder if you could cancel their tickets and leave them a message saying ``Plans changed. Need you at office. Lynn.'' Yes, that's me--Lynn. No, `Lynn' withOUT an `e'--when it's with an `e' it's a girl's name. Do I sound like a girl to you? ... Gay?? No, I am not gay! Look, can you please just LEAVE THEM THE MESSAGE. Oh, and I'll need the name changed on the reservations. Blair... Mr. and Mrs. Blair... That's right. No, not a-r-e, a-i-r, like your head. Will you PLEASE just hurry? ... OK. Thanks. Thanks very much." He hangs up. "Ok, it's all set. Tickets will be waiting at the gate. But we have to hurry."

At the airport, we see Phyllis and Michael stuck at the counter yelling at someone about lost tickets as Danny and the Bug race past behind them, unseen. They arrive at the gate just as the door is about to close and find their tickets waiting. As they enter, the doors close behind them and they breathe a huge sigh of relief. "Did you see them at the desk?" Cricket asks. Danny nods. "Yeah, I saw them. This is the last flight of the day. Thank goodness we got it and they didn't." As they hurry to their seats, the camera switches back to the desk where an attendant tells Michael and Phyllis, "It doesn't matter anyway--the plane just left." Phyllis is furious. She paces in circles as if about to kill someone. Michael stands nearby saying, "Phyllis. Calm down. We don't want any scenes here..." Phyllis glares at him with an icy look. They step out of line and begin to pace some more.

"Wait," says Michael. "Maybe there's another answer--the matter transporter at Newman Enterprises." "Matter transporter?" Phyllis says. "Yes, it was developed for urgent situations just like this where a plane flight to New York was too slow. Hang on..." He flips out his phone and makes a call. "Charlie. Hi, it's Michael Baldwin. Hey, I was wondering if you could do me a big favor. I have a friend who urgently needs to get to New York and all the flights out of Genoa City are booked for the evening. Would it be possible for us to sleaze a ride on the company matter transporter? ... Oh, it is? Rats... All right, well, thanks anyway." He looks to Phyllis sadly. "It's down for repair." "Damn it!" Phyllis says. Then she looks up. "Wait, I have an idea." She rushes to a phone booth and asks "Do you have a quarter?" Michael hands her his phone. "No, I don't need a phone," she says. "This isn't the sort of call you make from a cellular phone whose records can be tracked. Just a quarter, please." Michael frowns at her. He hands her a quarter and says, "You're not about to do something I'm going to regret, are you? I could be disbarred..." "No you couldn't," says Phyllis. "You're already disbarred. And anyway, if you are, I'll use my home computer to clear your record. So just stand still for a moment and let me work my magic..." She looks up a number in the phone book (which miraculously has all of its pages), and dials. "Hello? I wanted to report a bomb on a plane--is this the right num--it is? ... Yes, yes, it's--oh, I don't know. It was the last Trans Global flight of the day to New York from Genoa City. No, I don't know the number. I was busy following this guy who was planting the bomb, ok? I didn't take time out to make careful notes. ... Well, it was round and it had a fuse--" Michael rolls his eyes and she corrects herself. "--a timer, I mean. It looked like it was set for 30 minutes... not long ago. You still have time. Just get that plane onto the ground.... No, I won't stay on the line. I've done my civic duty. Now I have to go." She hangs up.

Michael looks at Phyllis skeptically and she shrugs. "Look, Michael, it bought us some time. Now we just have to figure out how to get to New York." Michael says, "That's the same problem we were in before." "No, before we had to figure out how to get to New York within two hours," she corrects him. "True," says Michael, "but since that was the last plane out for the night, it hardly matters." "The last commercial plane," says Phyllis. "But what about all those corporate jets... I bet if we cruise the airport bars..." "Bars? Oh, just what we need. A tipsy pilot." "Well, we'll look for one who just arrived..." They wander down the hall to the bar and peer in. As they look in, Wally walks by in pilot garb. Phyllis looks to Michael, who nods. Michael takes a seat at a table and watches Phyllis move on Wally.

"Buy a lady a drink?" Phyllis says, pulling up next to Wally at the bar. "Sure," says Wally. "Anything to pass the time." "The time? You have a lot of time to kill." "Probably days..." "Days?" Phyllis says, brightening. "I work for Victor Newman..." "Oh," says Phyllis, "I've heard of him. Isn't his wife in the hospital?" "Exactly. So he's not going anywhere. But he employs me to stay dressed up with the plane ready to go..." "Does he?" Phyllis says. "Any chance I could get a little ride?" Wally smiles. "Why sure. You caught me at a good time--before I started drinking, I mean." "Good," says Phyllis. Then she adds, in as seductive a tone as she can manage, "Let's DO IT..." Wally nods to the bartender and leaves a small tip on the counter for the drinks they haven't touched, then the two of them get up and pass through the door with Michael following. "Hey, who's this?" Wally asks. "Just my lawyer..." Phyllis says. "This some kind of sting?" Wally asks. "Nothing like that," Phyllis says. "But a young boy's very life is at stake and he's here to help me." Ding, ding, ding. A young boy's life. The magic words have been spoken. Wally nods and moves in earnest to obey her every command from here on out. "This way," he says accelerating to a run. He flashes a badge at some security people and hurriedly says "they're with me". The guards nod and let everyone through to where the Newman Jet awaits.

Having been re-routed to Philadelphia, Danny and Chris pace the floor in the airport with some other detained passengers. A ring of armed police holds them in a group. Finally one of the police says, "Ok, sorry folks. We've searched the plane and it's apparently a false alarm. We're sorry for holding you, but we had to be sure. We'll be transporting you by bus to a hotel, and in the morning we'll head on to New York." "The morning!" Cricket groans. "Hey, Chris, it'll be good to have the time alone," Danny says. Cricket says, "Danny! By morning, Phyllis and Michael will have the manuscript. We have to get there tonight. Let's rent a car and drive--it's not that far..."

When the plane pulls into a hangar in New York, it's still the middle of the night and very dark out. The door opens and Wally says good bye to all. "You're sure you can handle it from here?" Phyllis nods. "You've been a big help, Wally," she says, kissing him firm on the lips. "Thanks, ma'am," he says somewhat mindlessly. "Just be waiting here for us later--that's all we need," Michael says. Wally nods and they run toward the door.

As Danny and Cricket approach New York, it's still the middle of the night. Danny dials Peter's house. Peter and Sylvia are asleep in bed. Sylvia reaches for the phone. "Hello?" she asks, sleepily. "It's me, Sylvia, Danny Romalotti." "Do you know what time it is?" she asks. "Oh, sorry, Danny says. We had a little trouble getting here and--" "Look, I'm as sympathetic as the next person to your cause, but it's the middle of the night. Could you just call in the morning when we're awake? After 9am?" "But--" Danny starts to say, then he thinks better of it and hangs up. "Who was that?" Peter asks, groggily. "Just one of those charity calls..." "Oh," Peter says, "I should have known. They are getting SO aggressive these days." The phone rings again. Peter picks it up this time and says, "Look, pal, one phone call in the middle of the night is enough. Now she said call after 9am and she meant it!" He slams the phone down.

Phyllis stares at Michael. "What do you suppose that was?" Michael thinks for a moment. "Probably means Danny and Cricket are in town. Maybe they called and were told to call back after 9am." Phyllis nods. "So they thought you were just them again?" Michael nods, and says, "Well, that gives us some time. Now what to do with it..." "I've got an idea," says Phyllis. "Let's go to Peter's apartment building."

They arrive to find the attendant asleep. They slip by quietly to the elevator area and enter one of the elevators. "Now what?" Michael asks. Phyllis looks at the control box. "Let's see... yes, I've got it. Look!" she says pointing to the control box. "I don't get it," Michael says. "There's a thirteenth floor," she says. "So? Peter lives on the seventeenth." "Exactly. And most buildings don't have a thirteenth... So we can just remove it." "I'm not following you, Phyllis." "Look, Michael, all we have to do is renumber the floors. Then when Cricket and Danny arrive, they'll go to the wrong place." "They're not the only ones." "Pessimist," Phyllis says. Then she adds, "Most people will be going out to church this morning. They won't be coming back until the afternoon. And by then we'll be long gone..." Michael shrugs and says, "Ok, it might work." He pulls out a pocket knife and she pulls out a nailfile from her purse and they busily start popping out and rearranging the plastic elevator buttons to eliminate the 13th floor. "Uh, oh," says Michael. "What?" Phyllis asks. "We need a button 23 and all we have is a button 13--do you have a magic marker or something?" She pulls out an eyebrow pencil. "That will have to do," he says. But it doesn't work, and he finally just pushes it in saying "13" at the top. "Well, maybe no one will notice," Phyllis says. Michael laughs and shakes his head. "Right..." After admiring their work for a moment, Michael says, "Come on--there's more to do." "More?" Phyllis asks. "We've got to do the other elevators, too--you never know which one they'll use." "Good point," she says and they head about it.

"What now?" Phyllis says to Michael as they stand on the new seventeenth floor. Michael looks at his watch and says, "We still have some time. What are we forgetting?" He looks at the doors, which all say "16-something". "Ah! We'll have to change those, too," he says, pointing to the signs. "We don't have time to change them all," Phyllis says. "Well, just a few key signs--like the one right out of the door--and the ones on the hall going toward Peter's supposed apartment." Phyllis nods. "I'll get the signs from upstairs," Michael says. "You just get these other signs off the walls and doors, ok?" She nods.

A few minutes later, they are back together in the elevator riding it down. "Now we wait," Phyllis says. "We couldn't just show up early?" Michael says. "Even with this little diversion, we're cutting it kind of fine." "We'll just have to be quick," Phyllis says. "I just hope no one discovers our little diversion before--" The doors open on the ground floor and a man holding a bunch of flowers gets in. He looks puzzled. "What's the matter?" Phyllis asks. "I'm looking for the 13th floor," the guy says. "It's not there." "Oh, right," says Michael, "It moved. It's up here now." He points to the top button. But before the man can press it, Phyllis blocks him. "Who are they for?" she asks. "Betty Miller," the guy says, looking at the card. "Oh, Betty!" Phyllis responds with phony glee. Then her face falls. "You do know--she moved last week?" He shakes his head, and she adds, "But you know, I was just on my way over to her new place. Maybe I could take them for you?" "Really?" the guy asks excitedly. "Oh, yes, it'd be no trouble at all." She dangles a ten dollar bill in front of him and he takes it. "Well, sure, I don't see a problem with that. Thanks!" "Oh, I'm sure Betty's going to love them," says Phyllis. The man bows slightly to Phyllis as he leaves. "Thanks!" he says. Michael presses "18". "This is perfect," Phyllis says. "Flowers?" Michael asks. "You'll see," Phyllis says pressing "17" with an enigmatic smile. She wanders out of the elevator while Michael stops to make a phone call. "Who are you calling?" she asks. "You have your secret plans? I have mine," Michael says. "Well hurry," Phyllis says. "It's almost nine..."

At precisely 9am, Michael and Phyllis knock on Peter's door. Peter opens it and welcomes them in. "You have the manuscript?" she says. Peter nods. "It's right...uh,..." He can't find it. "It was right here," he says, blushing apologetically. "Sylvia must have hidden it." "Sylvia?" "My girlfriend." "Ah, then she's the one who tipped off Cricket and Danny," Michael says, putting things together. Phyllis looks in the closet. "I found it," she says. "Where was it?" Peter asks. "In a woman's coat in the closet," Phyllis says. "That's Sylvia," Peter says. "Where is the little woman, anyway?" Phyllis says. "I'd like to thank her for all the trouble she's caused us." "She's just gone into the shower," Peter says. "Probably just as well she missed you."

Downstairs, on the other 17th floor, Bug and Danny check their watches. It is 9am there, too. "Look, flowers," Cricket says. "Let's read the card," Danny says. Cricket opens it and says, "Thanks a million! --P" "Phyllis," Danny says with disgust. "Chris, she's been here and gotten it already." "Not so fast, Danny. I think maybe she's trying to trick us into going away. But if they didn't want us to visit before 9am, they didn't want Phyllis either. Maybe she called ahead to have this delivered so if we beat her there, we'd go away without knocking." "I think you're right, Chris. It's just like Phyllis to do something tricky like that," Danny says. Cricket knocks on the door. A non-descript man in his late 20's answers the door. He doesn't look especially like Peter, but Danny isn't especially paying attention. "Where is it?" Danny asks the man grumpily. "What are you talking about?" the man asks. Danny pushes his way into the room where a half-dressed woman runs fleeing from the room into the bathroom. "Sylvia?" Danny calls. "Who are you?" the man asks. "I'm Danny Romalotti and I'm here for the manuscript." "Look here, Danny Romalotti. I don't know what you're doing here, and I don't know what you mean about a manuscript." "Don't give me that," Danny says, slugging the man. "I know it's here." Cricket kneels at the man's side to make sure he's ok. "Who are you?" "I'm Christine Roma--uh,--Christine Williams. I'm Mr. Romalotti's attorney." "Attorney, huh? Wow, if I had a temper like that, I guess I'd travel with my attorney, too." Danny whips open the bathroom door and the woman screams. "Sylvia?" he asks. The woman screams. "Look, we don't know any Sylvia, and you'd better get out of here before I call the--" "It's ok, we're already here," says a policeman entering. "We got an anonymous call just now about a disturbance?" He slaps cuffs onto Danny. He starts to cuff Cricket, too, when she says, "I'm, uh,--Mr. Romalotti's attorney." "You sure got here fast," the policeman says. "So did you," the man who is not Peter says.

As Danny and Cricket are being put into a paddy wagon, they see Michael and Phyllis standing with some street people who are trying to keep warm by burning some trash in a barrel on the street. Phyllis drops the manuscript into the fire.

Back in court, Monday morning. "Your honor, we'd like to introduce new evidence," Patrick Baker says. "New evidence! Ha! The ashes of the manuscript you burnt up yesterday?" Phyllis scoffs. Peter Baker looks at her with a blank stare. "No," he says, "it is not that. I'd like to introduce the arrest record for Mr. Romalotti in New York last night." The judge raises his eyebrows. "New York? What was he doing in New York?" "He was out on the town with his lawyer, Christine," Phyllis says. The judge bangs his gavel and says, "I'll have order here." Then he turns to Cricket and says, "Is this true, counsel?" "Yes, well, no, your honor. I mean, we did fly to New York, but we were up all night--we didn't stay at any hotel together." "Of course, not," say Patrick Baker. "Since Mr. Romalotti was arrested and in jail for part of that time." The judge asks "In jail?" "For assaulting a stranger," Baker says.

"Enough!" says the judge. "Enough?" Danny asks. "Yes, enough," says the judge. "You don't think assaulting an innocent man is enough?" the judge asks Danny. "No, sir, I don't. I'm prepared to do a lot more than that in defense of my son." "Yes, well, then for the sake of Society, I'm going to take that responsibility from you. I rule in favor of Mrs. Romalotti." "But your honor, you can't!" Cricket whines. "I can't?" the judge asks. "I haven't given my closing argument," Cricket says. "Will it explain the reason you spent the night on the town in New York with your client Saturday night?" "No, sir. I was going to downplay that." "Well, let's just not and say you did, ok? This whole trial has been very tedious and I have no more stomach for it." He bangs his gavel and the court adjourns.

Immediately, Phyllis hugs Michael and says, "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Michael smiles as she lavishes him with hugs and kisses. Danny just looks stunned. "So I lost?" he asks Cricket finally. "No, you haven't lost," Cricket says. "Danny, this is just the beginning. Now we move to the good stuff--the appeals process." "And how long will that take?" "We should be able to mount a good strong case sometime in the late fall," Cricket says.

Paul walks up to the table where Danny and Cricket are chatting. "So you're finally free of all this?" he asks Cricket in a relieved tone. "Well, not exactly, Paul," Cricket explains. "Not exactly?" "Well, there's just the small matter of an appeal..." "Appeal?" Paul asks, wondering how he could have overlooked the possibility. "And how long will that take?" "Until sometime in the late fall," she says. Paul sighs and pulls out a gun. Before anyone can move, he shoots Danny. "Paul!" Cricket screams, examining Danny's body to see if he's still alive. "You've killed him!" she says. "Relax, Chris," Paul says calmly, "you seemed determined to work on a court case between now and the fall--this way I'll get to see you some of the time while you're working on MINE!" The police handcuff him and start to walk him away. He stops at the door and turns back. Half to Cricket and half to Mary, who sits in the observer area of the court, he says, "... And besides, Mom will love the chance to bring me baskets of goodies while I'm in prison." Mary smiles warmly, happy to be remembered, and heads off to begin baking while Paul is ushered out. Cricket just stares at Danny's dead body being carried off by medics. "But what will I do for a social life?" she mutters. Michael steps up and says, "Christine! You look like you could use a drink..." But Phyllis follows closely after him and before Cricket can reply, she yanks him away by the arm. "Sorry, Christine, he's taken," Phyllis says, waving back over her shoulder as she escorts Michael away to celebrate their victory.

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 81!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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