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Original posting of Episode 32:

Date: 01 Apr 97 03:04:13 GMT
From: kmp@harlequin.com (Kent Pitman)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.soaps.cbs
Subject: Y&R: AWO#32: "April's Fools"
Message-ID: <KMP.97Apr1030413@romulus.harlequin.com>

INSIDE...  * Phyllis goes tripping
         * Cole exposes the source of Nina's confusion
       * Nina and Ryan make their lawyers salivate
     * Nick and Sharon's baby hangs in the balance sheets

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ANOTHER WAY OUT, Episode 32, 01-Apr-97  by Kent Pitman (kmp@harlequin.com)

                           "April's Fools"
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Nina is at her house.  The doorbell rings.  "Cole," she says, surprised.
"Nina, we have to talk," Cole says.  "Cole, I don't want to do this any more,"
she says, but he pushes past her.  "I just don't understand why you are being
this way," he says.  "Oh, yeah, right," she says.  "The great writer--the man
with so much insight into how people behave. You SLEPT with me and then you
IGNORED me!  I feel like I was chewed up and then spit out!"  "I did WHAT??
Nina, we never slept together!"  She stops and stares at him.  "Of course we
did.  That night at the cabin?  You don't remember?"  They stare at each 
other, each unable to understand what has brought the other to this point.

"Hey, Joani, look at this," Phyllis says pointing to her Internet web browser.
"It says here that that comet might have a UFO behind it that could take us to
Another World."  Joani looks over her shoulder. "I dunno, Mrs. Romalatti.
Doesn't that sound just a little implausible?"  Phyllis shrugs.  "Joani!
I don't question your religious views, please don't question mine!  This 
comet could be my Guiding Light to fame and fortune.  The Bell takes its
toll, you know."  "I think the expression is `The bell tolls,'" Joani corrects
her.  "Whatever.  The point is I can't just sit here As The World Turns.
These are the Days of Our Lives and mine are being frittered away around 
here.... I'm young, I'm restless, but in this town, I'm going nowhere."
"So where will you go?"  "Out West.  To the Pacific somewhere.  I'll take a
ride on that UFO and then--oh, Joani, then I'll be a star!"  She races
around muttering, "Money, ... passport, ... ok, I'm all set."  She turns to 
Joani again.  "Take care of Little Daniel...  and big Danny, too, if he 
seems to need it."  And with that, she is gone.  (But they say, if you look
reeeaaallllly closely, you can just barely make her out among the bright
light of the other night time stars.  She isn't really dead, you know--she's
just "moved on" to a higher level.)

Cole says, "Come on, Nina, snap out of it.  I don't know what's going on
between you and your husband to make you to make you flip out this way, but we
did NOT sleep together."  "I'm NOT imagining it Cole.  You took ADVANTAGE of
me.  And now that I'm no longer on your list of women to be conquered, you
think you can just ignore the fact that it ever happened."  "Earth to Nina.
Have you been listening to anything I'm saying," he asks.  Then suddenly, in a
fit of utter frustration, he drops his trousers.  "Don't look away, Nina.
Look this way.  Take a good long look, Nina.  Does this LOOK familiar to you?"
Nina starts to respond, but just then Ryan comes in the door.

Nick is in the intensive infant-care unit.  As he watches, and to his horror,
his son flatlines.  "What does that mean? What does that mean?" he says to a
nearby doctor, apparently trying to distract him from saving his son.  "It
means your baby is dead if you don't shut up, now get out of here."  Nick
continues out into the hall where he sees Nikki and Victor.  "Mom, it's awful.
My baby is dead."  "You're sure?" Nikki asks.  He nods vigorously.  "Yes, Mom,
I'm sure.  The doctor told me my baby was dead if I didn't shut up, and here I
am talking, so the baby MUST be dead!"  "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry for you,"
says Nikki sadly.  Victor says, "Well, I'll be damned."  "Victor!" Nikki 
squeals.  "Don't talk about being damned like that..."  "It's ok, Mom.  We had
little Noah baptized so he wouldn't have to worry about that," Nick explains.

"What in the HELL is going on here?" Ryan asks self-righteously.  "Ryan!  It's
not like it looks," Nina says awkwardly.  Ryan looks to see what it looks like
before assessing her statement.  "Cole was just expressing his frustration
over--" "He doesn't look very frustrated to me.  It looks to me like a very
open conversation."  "Look, Ry, your wife and I were just having a rap session
like you asked me to, and--" "Yeah, right," Ryan mutters.  "Another minute and
you'd have been wrapped in each other, I'm sure of that.  And I suppose you
expect me to believe this is the first time?"  "No," says Nina.  "Yes," says
Cole.  Then, as each think about the significance of their response, they
change it.  "Yes."  "No."  "Oh, forget this, I'm going to find a lawyer," Ryan
says.  "Ryan, wait!" Nina pleads... but she is too late.

Back in the operating room, the action is not over.  Doctors enter and hurry
about busily.  A man in a business suit enters and pulls Joshua off to the
side.  "Are you in charge here?" he asks.  "Yes, I am," says Joshua.  "So you
issued the code green?"  Joshua nods.  "OK, what's the emergency?"  Joshua
explains, "Look, I don't like this Newman guy one bit--he's always putting the
moves on my wife.  But he is LOADED.  We can't let his grandson die.  The
hospital could lose lots of funding!"  "Now I understand the Code Green.  And
if we were to effect a miraculous recovery,..." he trails off but Joshua nods.
"Big thanks.  Big donations."  "Ok, you have Carte Blanche. So what's your
plan?  From here it looks hopeless."  "I suggest we substitute another child.
I've been studying the nursery in case of such a contingency and I've got one
picked out whose parents don't have any money."  "And this will work?  There
are a lot of records that will have to be ... managed."  "Trust me.  I've got
a lot of experience with tricky records management--I know who to ask, and
I've never had any problems.  Besides, the parents can hardly see their kids
in those contraptions, so it's not like there's been much bonding."  "Do it."
the man says.

Ryan enters the Law Offices of Collins and Sons.  "I'm Ryan McNeil.  I called
from my car phone on the way over," he says to the receptionist.  "I'm here
about a divorce..."  The receptionist, played by Jill Whelan (Vicky from "Love
Boat"), nods.  "Yes, I remember.  Fortunately, there's been a cancellation.
You can go right in."  Ryan heads into the office.  Doris Collins sits behind
the desk.  "Ryan McNeil, isn't it?" she asks.  Ryan nods.  "Have we met?"  "I
believe so.  My daughter is Sharon Collins Newman--she's married to Nicholas
Newman.  I think we've been to some of the same pool parties."  "Your
daughter... the sign said Collins and sons...."  Doris laughs.  "Well, I have
no sons, but then--I have no one else working here either.  So the name seemed
appropriate.  It's a small operation.  I just finished my degree in law and I
thought a name like that would make me sound a little more established."
"Well, established or not, can you handle my case?  I'm a bit at a loss--our
family lawyer, John Silva, will be representing Nina in the divorce so I've
got to have someone."  "Absolutely, Ryan.  And on a contingency basis, so
it'll cost you nothing up front.  I get a third of whatever you settle for."
"Sounds fair to me," Ryan says.  Then he adds, "If you get me what I deserve
out of this, you should be able to hire all the sons you want!"

Nick and Sharon are in street clothes with Victor and Nikki, leaving the
hospital tearily when they hear a familiar voice.  "Nick!"  Nikki turns and
glares at Joshua.  "What more could you possibly have to say to us?" she says,
practically spitting venom and seemingly ignoring the fact that she is married
to him.  "Just that your little baby is ok--everything's going to be ok!"
"Oh, I could kiss you!" Nikki says.  But she kisses Victor instead.  Everyone
hugs except Joshua, who stands aside looking partly irritated, but whose eyes
betray just the slightest glee in the knowledge that their joy is based in a
total fabrication he himself has helped to engineer.

Nina swoops into John Silva's office like a tornado, almost whisking the
papers from his desk as she moves.  "He's gone to his lawyer, John.  What can
I do?"  "You could serve him first," John says.  "No, I don't want to divorce
him at all."  "Well, if he moves ahead, there may not be a lot more we can
do."  "John!  If I lose Ryan I'll be all alone in the world."  "What about
Cole?"  She bristles, "Don't you start!"  "Ok.  What about your friend
Cricket, can't she help you through?"  "She's really starting to bug me--
coming in without knocking, preaching all the time, ... I'm better off without
her if I can figure out how to arrange it."  "You could start by asking for
her key back," John suggests. "How did you know she has a key?" "Nina, the
word is that everyone you know has a key.  Lately I've been feeling a little
sad that you don't trust me with one."  She unconsciously fumbles around in
her purse until she finds one and hands it to him.  "Oh, John, I'm sorry about
that.  I just had too few made.  Now, what other options do I have if Ryan 
serves me with divorce papers?"  John thinks for a moment.  "Breakfast?"
"Breakfast?  How does that help me?"  John says, "It doesn't help you--it
helps us.  Don't you remember we used to date and you wanted to break up
because you were always afraid you didn't know anything about the world, or
anything to talk about?  Now you're a college graduate, an aspiring writer.
We could have something really good."  "But why breakfast?"  "Because I'll
need tonight to prepare your divorce."  "But I hate getting up in the 
morning."  "So don't get up," he says--I'll let myself in.  He winks at her,
holding up the key.

"Oh, Nick," Sharon says to Nick as he waits for her to chat with the nurse
at the baby's incubator.  "The nurse just told me that not only is my
baby better, but also finally well enough for me to hold!"  "That's great!"
Nick says.   "Come to mama," we hear Sharon whispering to the baby.  "Oh, your
little diaper's wet... I'll have to change you..."  The nurse points her to a
changing table nearby and she goes to work.  As she does we hear, "Nick!"
Nick gets an immediate panic and exclaims, "What is it? What is it!?" 
"Didn't they tell us our baby was a boy?  This baby is a girl!  What are we
going to do??"  Nick says "Hmmmm," and pauses to think.  Finally he says,
"I guess we'll just have to call her Noel."

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         Copyright 1997 Kent M. Pitman.  All Rights Reserved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Another Way Out" takes plotline state at time of publication and shows that
there are interesting places right around the corner.  The goal, besides
having some fun with good-natured parody, is to challenge the notion that we
must be mired in certain tired plotlines for months just to have a good time.
There is always another way out...

   Archives of this and older episodes of "Another Way Out"
    as well as the more serious "morals" that underly them,
    can be found at:  http://world.std.com/~pitman/awo/index.html

   And don't forget to try the new "character index" while you're there!