Episode 9, originally published 14-Dec-96

Make 'r Break

It's the Private Dining Room. A sign on the wall says "Genoa City Wife Swappers" monthly meeting. Cole, Ryan, Nina, and Victoria are seated. There are conspicuously 8 chairs. "The caller did say there would be more people this time," says Ryan uncomfortably. "That's good," says Nina. "It wasn't working well with just us." The door opens and in walks Nick, Sharon, Antonio, and Grace. Just then, the phone rings. Cole puts it on speaker. Before the voice on the other end can say anything, Ryan chimes in. "Quit meddling in our lives, Cricket. We know it has to be you. No one else has their fingers in this many plot lines."

The camera cuts quickly away from the Private Dining Room to a phone booth, perhaps in the lobby of the Colonnade Room. We see the woman only from behind. She is thin and has blond hair, but unlike Cricket, her hair is cut--severely--a short, businesslike `do' that curls inward above the shoulders. "It can't be me--I mean Cricket--" the voice says. "I--uh, Cricket--was at the Crimson Lights today when Antonio got his call," she pleads, referring back to Episode 8.

The camera pans back to the Private Dining room. "That's true," Antonio says. "She WAS at Crimson Lights when I got that recorded call." "Wait a minute," Nina says, confused. "You know Cricket??" "Are you's kidding?" he laughs. "Within minutes o' my arrival in Genoa City, the little roach was on the phone to me--callin' herself my mother's legal counsel, like I'd wouldna knowed it was just another name for lawyer--and began to snip at me about leaving my mother's house without making the bed. She's everywhere! Of course I know her." "All right, quiet you guys. It's NOT me, ok? Now get a grip and let me give you your new romantic assignments because my sex life is too boring for words and--" They all shakes their heads. "This is just getting stupider and stupider. Let's just go," suggests Cole. Heads nod and most people leave. Grace is the last, and she turns to the camera. "Darn, ... and I was so close!" she mutters. All parade through the door and through the Colonnade Room toward the street. Cricket, or what's left of her after the haircut, stands frustrated outside a phone booth, phone still in hand, tethering her to the booth. "Wait!! Why are not listening to me! Guys!! Oh....". Frustrated, she falls to tears.

Cricket rises and wanders across the street to Genoa City Memorial where Danny and Phyllis are standing with their baby. "He's still not well?" she inquires. "Who are you?" asks Phyllis, confused. Cricket makes a gesture with her hands, showing where her hair used to fall in front of her face and extend past her shoulders. Then she asks, "His godmother?" "Oh, right. Sorry, Christine, didn't recognize you with your feelers trimmed. Little Danny's fine now--we just came for some shots." "Can I hold him?" she asks. "I guess it couldn't hurt..." Phyllis replies, handing the baby to Cricket, who drops it on its head. "Oops," Cricket says apologetically as she stares at the motionless baby on the floor. "I'll make you another one," she says quickly, and starts to tug on Danny's arm. "Hey! I'm not going with you, Cricket. I don't know what I ever saw in you before, but today I suddenly feel free of it. I'm not making any babies with you, thanks." Cricket leaves in a huff.

Cut to Newman Enterprises where Cricket is walking up to Connie's office. "Oh, Christine. He was just asking for you," says Connie with an air of surprise and relief. Cricket enters. "Christine. What has happened to your hair?" "Don't you like it?" she asks. "Uh... no," he replies, reprising his reaction to Nick's weird haircut only a month earlier. "Oh," she pouts, but Victor just shakes his head in dismay and continues in a business-like tone. "Christine, I have decided that your work here has not been up to par. Several contracts that you recently wrote for us have been broken, and the other lawyers tell me your sloppy wording has left us with no recourse. You may pick up your final paycheck from Connie on your way out."

Cricket is in bed, tossing and turning. Suddenly, she is awake, sweating. Paul is next to her. Her hair is long again. "Oh, Paul, Paul, it was a horrible nightmare. I was like some sort of female Samson and I cut my hair and lost all my power. Oh, Paul, do you love me unconditionally?" she asks. "Of course I do," he says obediently. "Phew." She starts to dial the phone. "What are you doing?" Paul asks. "I'm calling your mother... Mary? Hi, it's Christine. Yes, I know it's early. Would you be up for a little walk in the park later? ... the usual thing--we could find some bums and tell them why they ended up there and how they can get better... great. Thanks, Mary."

You're sad this was just a dream sequence aren't you? Well, get real. "Another Way Out" is capable of exploring many alternate soap universes, but sadly there is NO possible universe in which we're gonna get rid of Christine that easily!

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 10!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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