Episode 43, originally published 24-May-97

Record Braking

As the scene opens, Phyllis is answering her living room phone. But the camera cuts immediately to show Michael Baldwin at a pay phone in the prison. "Hello, Phyllis. You don't know me, but I've heard a lot about you and I'm convinced we're destined to become best friends." "We are? Who is this?" "I'm told we have a mutual acquaintance in the Blattaria family." "I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone with that last name," Phyllis says. "It's not a last name--it's an order of insect containing a wide variety of creepy little bugs..." "I think I suddenly understand the nature of this mutual acquaintance," Phyllis says. "I thought you might." "You still haven't said who you are, though." "So I didn't. My name is Michael Baldwin. The creepy little Bug used to work for me at my law office." "Until?" "Until Her Self-Righteousness testified against me and had me put away in prison. BUT I've fooled the prison staff here into thinking I'm reformed and I'm due to be released soon ... and I wondered if I could solicit your help in arranging me a welcome back party."

Grace is with Tony arguing away in the bedroom when she hears muffled voices in the next room. She holds up a finger to Tony as if to say "one minute" or "time out", and she proceeds around the corner to the dining room saying "Cassie?" Cassie puts a finger over her mouth as if to tell Cindy to be quiet. "Yes, Grace?" "Were you watching TV?" "No, I was talking to Cindy." "But I heard more than one voice," Grace says. "Oh, that was me and Cindy," Cassie explains, as if this answered the question. "You and Cindy?" Grace asks, holding out for a better explanation. "I borrowed your tape recorder so I could make her talk. I didn't want to be any trouble," Cassie explains. Grace melts. "It's ok, Cassie. I was just worried for you--I thought someone was in here with you. You're NOT any trouble." "That's good," Cassie says.

"Why are you so sure I'd want to help you?" Phyllis asks, worried about what Michael might have heard and where he heard it. Michael says, "Because you're the Bug's archnemesis. You're the logical partner for me." Phyllis starts to get visibly upset, but doesn't show it on the phone. "He knows! ... Everyone knows! ... How did he find out?" she asks herself (and we hear in a haunting voiceover). "I am? Why is that?" "Oh, don't worry--your secret's safe with me. But I've been following Cricket's travels and exploits very carefully while I've been in here. I called that Caribbean hotel and found out about the event with the octopus, for example. That was brilliant."

"You found out about that?" Phyllis asks. "From prison?" "That's right. I can be very determined. And very resourceful. And very patient. The Internet is really the next best thing to being there," he says. "Though I'm REALLY tired of busy signals and ready to kill everyone at a certain service provider that didn't buy enough modems. Anyway, I've been waiting to corner that Cricket and make her pay for what she did to me... So what do you say--will you help me?" Phyllis is uneasy but decides to go for the diplomatic approach. "It's a very interesting offer--how can I get back to you?" "I'll be released in a week or so--I'll be in touch." He hangs up.

Ashley enters St. Kurt's Medical Facility and makes her way through the piled up construction debris to the central reception area. Upon locking on her usual target, she homes in closer and says, "Kurt Costner!" Kurt shakes his head at the way he has been addressed. "Ashley, we've known each other for a long time now, right?" She nods. "And we are good friends, right?" he asks again. Again she nods. "So, there's no need to call me--" he starts to say, but he is cut off by her cell phone. "I'll just be a minute," she says as she turns away to answer it.

Phyllis is pacing the room worriedly. "Oh, I'd like so much to see that Bug get stomped once and for all, but ... he knows about me--ALL about me. And if he ever turned against me... I can't afford another Sasha. But--" Just then, the doorbell rings. It's the Bug and Paul, carrying what is obviously a duplicate copy of Sasha's manuscript, presumably the insurance policy Sasha had warned about. Phyllis looks suddenly sheet white--she knows immediately what's at stake. Before she can act, though, Danny enters from the other room.

"Uh, Danny--" Phyllis says quickly spinning about. "This is so embarrassing--you remember that surprise I've mentioned?" He nods. "I think Cricket and Paul are here to talk to me about it, and -- could you just wait in the other room for a minute?" Danny looks uncertainly to the Bug and Paul. "This is about a surprise?" Danny asks. The Bug and Paul don't know how to respond, but Chris finally nods. "It certainly is, Danny. A big surprise. But I am interested to hear what Phyllis wants to tell me, so if you don't mind waiting..." "No, I don't mind," Danny says, and goes back out of sight... (Did he go to his room or to Joani's? I didn't see.)

Cassie goes back to playing with Cindy but Grace does not leave the room. She looks up at Grace. "Don't you have to go back to your discussion with Tony?" "My discussion?" Grace says, as if the child had been deaf for the past 3 weeks. "Uh, huh. You and Tony were having another argument, I think," Cassie says. "No, we weren't arguing." "Cindy says you were." "Cindy?" Grace says. "Uh, huh," Cassie says. "Cindy says you're afraid to tell Sharon she's my mother." "Cassie!" Grace says, looking as if she wants to muzzle Cassie so that she won't hear what she's saying, but suddenly realizing that it's too late--Cassie knows. "It's ok. I understand. You're afraid she won't want me, aren't you?" Grace stammers, "No! I mean--I--"

Jack is at the bar at Gina's when he sees an article on a news show that catches his eye. "Hey, turn that up, will you?" he says to the bartender. The bartender complies, and we join the story in progress, "Could it be that London has a new Lady Diane? You decide--but clearly the romance is in the air as London's famous Harrod's department store changed hands today. Apparently, it all began as a conflict over social etiquette when this man, later identified as ruthless multi-billionaire Victor Newman was asked to leave the store for the excessive making of noise." The camera cuts to Victor who's saying, "Did they not know who they were dealing with? I am Victor Newman. No one tells me the noises I make when kissing are too loud, do you hear? No one." Apparently, Newman and a young lady he was escorting had stopped to kiss, but the noise their kiss made was attracting the attention of many of the customers, some of whom complained to the management. When asked to leave, Victor Newman declined and instead bought the store, sending all the customers home."

With Danny gone, the Bug proudly announces, "We KNOW what happened Phyllis. Sasha was blackmailing you. There's nothing you can do now -- Danny is GOING to find out. Finally!" Phyllis's desperation shows. "Wait. I have something to trade," she says urgently. "Trade? What could you POSSIBLY have to trade?" Paul asks disbelievingly. "Michael Baldwin." The Bug and Paul stop cold. They didn't expect this. Cricket asks, "I don't understand--what could you possibly have to do with Michael Baldwin?" "He's planning to come after you when he gets out." "Yes, I know. I testified before the parole board--but I don't know if they'll let him out or not."

"What if I could guarantee they won't let him out?" Phyllis proposes to Cricket, improvising as fast as she can. "You could--how?" "Let's just say `what if?'--would you give me the manuscript, and both of you promise never to ever tell Danny what was in it?" "And you can GUARANTEE Michael won't get out?" Paul says, still not sure whether to believe the offer. "I can," Phyllis says. "We'd need proof," the Bug says. "I can give you proof. But will you promise?" Phyllis pleads. "Phyllis, it isn't like you--to do something nice for me," the Bug says. "And it isn't like you to cut me any slack either," Phyllis says. "It would be a whole new beginning for both of us," she explains. Paul shrugs at Cricket. "If it would really keep Michael in prison, maybe it's worth it." "All right. If you can prove what you claim, it's a deal," Cricket says.

"It's nice of you to worry about me feeling rejected, but it's ok. I'm used to rejection. No one's ever wanted me my whole life. But then I found Cindy. Cindy doesn't reject me... she's my friend. And friends tell each other things, don't they?" "Yes, sweetie, that's right," Grace says. "Friends tell each other things." "And Sharon's your friend, right?" Cassie says. Grace looks at Cassie, wondering what's she's getting at. "Yes...." "So you should tell her, shouldn't you? Cindy thinks you should."

Phyllis rushes to the table where the phone is and pulls out a tape recorder. "I had this set up to record blackmailing calls from Sasha," she says. "But Michael called and--" She runs the tape back and plays it for them. Paul's jaw drops. "With this tape, we could keep Michael locked up for a long time," he says. "And all you have to do for it is leave me and Danny alone to raise our child," Phyllis says. "Ok, Phyllis," the Bug says, obviously somewhat reluctantly. "The tape for our silence." They trade items, just in time before Danny enters again. "So what's this big surprise?" "Well, now," Paul says. "If we told you, it wouldn't be very much of a surprise, would it?" "Oh, now we can tell him, can't we?" Phyllis says. "Danny, Paul and Cricket feel like they haven't been seeing enough of us--" Danny looks at Paul and Cricket, "That IS a surprise," he says. "And they were wondering if we could go away on a vacation together...just our two families!" Cricket and Paul look at each other confused but fail to object in time. "Uh, sure, absolutely--when do we leave?" Danny says. "Oh, goodie," Phyllis says, running to Danny and hugging him. Paul and Chris just sigh.... "Next week?" Paul says. "We'll need to do some packing..." "Oh, me, too!" says Phyllis. "It would never do to go on a trip without a really good collection of water toys!" she adds, winking at them.

Ashley pulls the cell phone from her pocket. We can't hear the other end, but we hear her whisper on this end. Kurt listens intensely, too. "Well, hello, Kurt Miller! I was wondering if you were ever going to get back to me... No, I'm busy today for lunch--how about tomorrow? ... Ok, sounds great. Bye!" She starts to turn back but the phone rings. She turns away and speaks in a whisper again, though again both we and Kurt--uh,--Kurt Costner, can hear: "Hello, Kurt James! Yes, we're on for lunch Friday... Uh, huh. Well, I'll see if I can--right, I'll call you back." She hangs up and dials a few buttons. "Kurt Bradford! Hi, it's Ashley. Could we move lunch to Friday? We could? Great--thanks, you're a doll." She hangs up and dials another number. "Kurt James--it's Ash again. Yes, I moved things around--today lunch would be fine." She turns back around. "So, Kurt Costner, there was something you were about to tell me?" "Uh, never mind," he says. "I think I finally figured it out..."

The news report continues as Jack watches in misery. "Our investigative team was unable to find the full name of the woman he was with--we know only that her name was Diane. An unconfirmed tipster known to us only as `Wally' suggested that she is a naive architect who has been duped into thinking she is designing a major office building for the tycoon. The tipster, and part-time pilot, refused to be interviewed on camera in order to protect his identity, but insisted this was a regular pattern of Mr. Newman's. In Wally's words, ``He's gone to a few meetings of Powermonger's Anonymous, but he never gets past the introduction part. When asked to introduce himself, he always says, `Don't you know who I am?' and it gets ugly from there. He tries to buy the organization, a non-profit charity, and then usually crumbles when he finds it is not for sale.'' In Wally's words, Victor Newman is ``just a dream date in London, waiting to happen.'' Live from New York, I'm Mary Morgan for SoftCopy." Jack waves for the bartender to snap off the TV. "So... the Black Knight has stolen my woman," Jack mutters wistfully. "Damn! I KNEW this would happen if I ever forgot to tell her how beautiful she looked today..."

Grace is surprised by the information Cassie seems to be getting from her conversations with her doll. "Cindy thinks all of this?" Cassie nods and presses PLAY on the small tape recorder strapped to Cindy's back. Tony's voice in the recorder says, "You gotta tell her, Grace." "That's Tony!" Grace says. "I wanted Cindy to say some things but I got tired of her sounding like me, so I recorded some of you." "Cassie, if you'd asked, we'd have helped--" "I didn't want to be any trouble," Cassie says. "And this way is lots more fun--I never had such interesting conversations with Cindy until now. There's just one thing--" "What's that, Sweetie?" Grace asks. "Could you argue about some new things now? Cindy's starting to repeat herself and it's getting boring again like it used to be."

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 44!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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