Episode 107, originally published 20-Aug-98

Going Out With A Bang

Veronica is holding a gun to Nikki. "Say your prayers, Nikki," she advises her. "Wait, wait, wait!" Nikki says. "What is it now?" Veronica asks in an irritated tone. "Won't you tell me why I'm dying? The real story?" Veronica eyes her suspiciously. "I think you're trying to stall things. You wouldn't be hoping someone was going to come rescue you, now would you?" "No, no, really! I'd just like to know why I'm dying." "Alright," Veronica says, "on one condition." "Anything," Nikki says, happy to be delaying matters. "That we do it over a commercial so the audience doesn't have to hear the whole damned story yet again." Nikki is not in a position to argue, and the scene fades out.

In the tack room, Cole and Malcolm are trying to figure out what to do about the pictures. "Ok, look here," Malcolm says proudly, "I got just the trick for figuring out this little mystery." "Alright," says Cole, "let's get to it." Malcolm spills a jar onto the table. Out come a bunch of puzzle pieces. "I don't get it," Cole says. "Well, what I did was to paste that picture you gave me onto a piece of cardboard. And then I did the same for the mug shot of Veronica, after doctoring the colors. And then I cut them both up into a mess of pieces with a jigsaw. So if you're right, the pieces will be interchangeable and we'll end up putting them together really easily." Cole nods. "That's an incredible idea, Malcolm. Do you mind if I use it in my book?" "Well, if it works, you'll have to," Malcolm says, "since it'll be how we solved the mystery."

Back at the main house, Victor is talking to Miguel. "You know, Miguel, I have the strangest feeling I should put on my black leather jacket and go riding." "I'm sure Sra. Newman would love that," Miguel says. "She's already gone out herself. Shall I come along with some lemonade and light snacks?" "What an excellent idea," Victor says. "How long will that take to whip up?" "No time at all, Sen~or," Miguel says. "I have some waiting in the kitchen now." "Very well, you get them and meet me out by the pool," Victor says as he goes upstairs to change into his rescue jacket.

Back in the tack room, Cole and Malcolm are still working on the puzzle. "Maybe I should have used fewer pieces," Malcolm says. "How many are there?" Cole asks. "500 in each," Macolm says. "Two of every piece. Hey, can I have that blonde piece there?" Cole nods. "Sure, I'll trade you for that little patch of someone's bathroom rug."

At the poolside, Miguel joins Victor and the two begin to walk toward the stables. Just then, there is a gunshot. "Did you hear that?" Victor asks. "It sounded like gunfire," Miguel says. "You run ahead and assess the situation, Miguel. I'm going to call the police." "What about those security people all over the ranch?" Miguel asks. "Oh, it's after 5pm. I'm sure they've gone home for the day." "Of course," says Miguel. "By the way, it might be dangerous of me to go in there, so if I don't see you again alive, it's been nice working for you." "Thank you, Miguel," Victor says, shaking his hand. "Now run along and see what you can figure out, ok?" Miguel heads off to the stable as Victor goes back to the pool. From the pool, off in the distance, there are more gunshots.

A short time later, Victor is heading back to the stable with a gun and bumps into Cole and Malcolm going toward the house. "If you are on your way to call the police," Victor says without ceremony, "you are too late. I've already done it." "No," says Cole, "we were just exhausted from this puzzle we're working on and hoping that Miguel could fix us something cool and refreshing to drink." "Yeah," adds Malcolm, "and what's with that there gun you're toting?" "Well, that gun is just my protection in case the gunfire out at the stable turns out to be something bad. I've sent Miguel along to check on things already." "Oh, man," says Cole to Malcolm. "That means no lemonade." "It's cool," says Malcolm. "We'll just tag along with your landlord here and see what's hopping down at the stable."

Just then, Nikki comes running from the stable. "Victor!" she shouts. Victor runs toward her and gives her a big hug and an overly long tongue kiss. "Nikki, thank goodness you're alright! I sent Miguel to check on you." "Well, I almost wasn't alright," she says. "Well, hey, don't just keep us in suspense, huh?" Malcom says.

"Well," says Nikki, "Veronica came after me." "Hey, man, you were right--it was her!" Malcolm says to Cole. "You knew and didn't tell us?" Victor asks. "Well, we were still putting the pieces of the puzzle together," Cole explains. "And to tell the truth, she was looking an awful lot like a serial killer," Malcolm adds. "That's just because you wouldn't give me those pieces I told you belonged in the other puzzle," Cole says. "Will you two be quiet and let my wife talk," Victor says. They quiet down and Nikki goes on.

"Anyway, she was all set to shoot me. But I bought some time by asking her to tell me her whole story." "And she did?" Cole asks. "Did you take notes?" Nikki scowls at him. "No, I didn't take notes. She had a gun on me for God's sake." "So how did you get away?" Victor asks. "Did your bullet-proof breasts save you?" "No, Victor. She didn't point her gun anywhere near those specially-augmented breasts you had me get." "The bullet-proof daisies in your hair then?" Victor asks. "I couldn't be sure if that was going to work," Nikki says. "She had the gun too close to my head and neck and I couldn't tell where it was pointed." "So what happened?" Cole asks, trying to move things along. "Well, it's the oddest thing, when she got to the point in the story where she was telling me about happened last year, she started to get really confused. She kept saying the same things over and over. I guess the repetition and the monotony of it all just put her to sleep because she was speaking more and more slowly and then she fell to the ground and dropped the gun." "And that's when it went off?" Victor asks. "Oh no," says Nikki. "I picked it up and shot her." "You did that?" Victor asks, impressed. "Yes, I was tired of this plot--the plot she had against me, I mean. And I wanted it definitively over."

"So you didn't need Miguel's help then?" Victor asks. "Well, actually," Nikki says with a blush, "Miguel wasn't really being all that helpful. You see, he didn't believe me that Veronica was Sarah. And he was quite mad that I'd shot her, as you can imagine." "He gave you lip about this?" Victor asks, surprised. "No, he didn't do that. He just lunged at me and said he was going to kill me. So I shot him, too." Victor shakes his head. "That's very sad, you know." "Yes, I know," Nikki says wistfully. "Ordinarily this would be a time of celebration--having killed a killer and all." Nikki nods. "Victor, you don't have to make me feel any worse than I already do. I'd love to be celebrating as much as you. But you're completely right--we can't do any celebrating until we find someone else to cater all the food for us."

That's all for this episode. Hope you learned something. Don't miss Episode 108!
If you missed any older episodes, see the index.

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